Motherhood and Guilt

 When I went to write this post before my children, ages 19 and 23 had dinner, my husband said to me, “What kind of mother are you?” because I put a bag of lettuce on the table with dressing and left.  Now my children are certainly old enough to put it in a bowl for themselves; however, as a younger mom I would have chastised myself for not serving it “right.”  While those days are mostly behind me, this inspired me to write about  guilt and motherhood, borrowing from our book, “Life Will Never Be the Same: The Real Mom’s Postpartum Survival Guide .”     

“It’s a difficult task to try to maintain your pre-baby life…You may feel as if you never have enough time for everything you want to do.  If you neglect your own needs or your partner or your job, you feel guilty.  And you feel guilty if you put any of those priorities above the baby’s needs.  Guilt just comes with the territory at times.”

Now, substitute whatever stage of parenting pertains to you.  It’s all the same.  Moms everywhere feel they’re falling short, resulting in GUILT.  So, here’s what we recommend.  First, “focus on what you accomplish rather than what you leave undone.”  Second, “you may also need to lower your standards and set less ambitious goals for a while,” like me with the salad.  Finally, find other moms in similar situations for support and validation.

Try our friends at Working Moms Against Guilt for a great web resource.  And forget the salad bowl.