Last week I spoke in New Jersey about the importance of self-care during pregnancy and post-birth, but my conference highlight was visiting with three moms who’ve survived postpartum depression/anxiety/OCD who are trained to support other women going through it. There was a fourth mom there who offers support online but didn’t know any moms locally and these three embraced her like they would each other.
It reminded me again that we must be the ones to lead the charge to dispel society’s myths about motherhood and to ensure that all moms, whatever point of motherhood they’re at, get the emotional health care they deserve. We must challenge our own biases about anxiety and depression, and accept them as “health conditions” just like heart disease or diabetes. We must accept that self-care is self-preserving and that women who make their emotional health a priority have more not less to give. As Laura Nash said beautifully, “You can’t give away what you don’t have.”
So, we’ve decided to declare November “Self-Care Month” with the self-care contest/challenge running from Nov.14-18. We think this is the time when women need to be most reminded to keep their emotional pitchers full with all the season’s demands. Please get your friends, co-workers, moms, daughters, neighbors and all your female peeps to join us for fun and great giveaways.
Also special thanks to my friend Susan Ellis Murphy who mentors the SNJPC support moms and works tirelessly to ensure the health of SNJ moms.
Posted in Living the Self-Care Challenge, Monday Musings
Tagged diane sanford, life balance, LIfe Will Never Be The Same, motherhood, mothers' mental health, peer support, postpartum depression, postpartum mental health, pregnancy mental health, self care tips for women
Cultivating healthy relationships and eliminating harmful ones is essential to proper self-care. Whether it’s with a spouse, child, parent, sibling, friend or co-worker, a healthy relationship is one that is characterized by RESPECT- for us and the other person.
- Courtesy – Be polite. Follow through. Be on time. Avoid shouting, insults, nagging, and manipulation.
- Boundaries- It’s okay to set limits, to say “no,” and to expect respect. Honor the other’s personal limits as well.
- Personal safety- Violence is NEVER justified or okay. Everyone has a right to be safe from physical and/or emotional abuse.
- Honesty- Deception and lies hurt both parties. The truth always comes to light. Trust is easy to keep but almost impossible to repair.
- Clear communication- Say what you mean. Don’t expect others to read your mind. If you are unsure about what someone means, ask questions.
- Realistic expectations- Consider the other person’s role and the limits of that role. Don’t expect the same intimacy from co-workers as spouses. Even if the other person doesn’t like what’s said, we are each responsible for our own happiness.
- Flexibility and understanding- Plans change. People disappoint. Life is a moving target. Learn to adapt and adjust.
- Grace- No one is perfect. Sometimes we have to forgive and overlook shortcomings. Other times, we must ask for forgiveness.
Good relationships (including with ourselves) are treasures. They must be nurtured. Make time for them. Cherish them. Enjoy them.
Today’s author is Mommie Kate. Visit her at http://faith4moms.blogspot.com/.
Posted in Wednesday Wisdom
Tagged ann dunnewold, building new habits, diane sanford, healthy communication, healthy relationships, life balance, LIfe Will Never Be The Same, living self-care, new moms, postpartum mental health, real moms, self care tips for women, self-help